I was going to write about something entirely different when this came out. Today is my 36th wedding anniversary. Wow. 36 years and the same guy is still around. And, I get this is cliche and all that, but I do happen to love him more today than I did all those years ago. And, most importantly, I know why. I understand that many people do not have a healthy example of what a good marriage is and I know so many are in relationships they feel are far from ideal. I am beyond blessed. We are not closet dysfunctionals, who pretend all is well on the outside, then go abuse in the privacy of our own home. We both came from stable, loving families, with wonderful parents. I understand that our healthy marriage is an anomaly in these troubled times. We are blessed enough to know that God has everything to do with the reason we are celebrating us.
My love for him is immeasurable. My respect for him immense. >g< No, it is not for all the reasons one would expect. He still piles his dirty clothes on top of and all around the hamper, and they never make it inside. And…well, it is our anniversary, so I won’t go on. If you need a little perspective on our life together, you can read some previous Stacks I wrote. Or just read them all…haha!
I love him more today than I did when I was 22 years old. Way more. And it is not because of him, it is because of me. My capacity to love has been stretched over time and it is bigger than it has ever been. I have had overcome and slap myself out of the way to love bigger. To love more fully. To love someone more than myself.
I would die for this man. Gladly. He is a great man and he makes me want to be a better person. I know that sounds trite and like some movie line, but he does. And, isn’t that what our parents always told us? Hang out with good people and they will make you better. Well, I married one and I am still becoming a better person. Everyday. I want to Be Best. (Yes, that makes me cringe too. Oh, Melania!)
I know that 22 year old me cannot hold a candle to 58 year old me. We don’t realize just how much we don’t know when we are so young. We have no clue how much is in store for us and how much we will continue to grow and have the capacity to grow and love. Even now, one can always start anything. No matter how old, love can always find a way. It can find the way into our very soul and make us think twice about who we thought we were.
This married love is about having someone by my side who loves me, even though they know me. All of me. And, most of the time there was WAY more of me than there should have been. We stuck together through the good times and the bad. Through times of lean and times of plenty. Through the ups and downs of raising 2 horrible children. We made it!!
Just kidding kids!! You guys are the best thing we have ever done. You are a monument to our love and it was pretty fun makin’ you too ; ) I will save the kid thing for another Write.
I was watching Sister Wives (my guilty pleasure). Nothing makes me happier than to see the dumb-dumb husband Kody squirm and complain and try to keep all 4 wives happy. And, they are okay with it. He deserves everything he gets. And…them during covid?! Well, if I could go into the TV and slap the crap out of them, it would be most fulfilling. Anyway…I asked Hubs if he would like me to have a sister wife…another wife for him, besides me. A younger model maybe? His answer sealed his fate. He said “Babe, with you, one is enough!” I consider my job as his wife well accomplished if I can keep him so on his toes that he can’t fathom having another.
Things Marriage Taught Me:
Never take any good-bye for granted.
He will start becoming his dad. Come to grips with it.
You are only as good as you make your husband feel that he is.
Never underestimate the power of a good _________(insert your word here)
As a woman, I was born to be married.
Husbands and wives are a powerful force. Together.
Appreciate. Appreciate. Appreciate.
As cute as those little babies are, your spouse must always come first. Always.
Never fight or argue in front of your children. Or anyone else for that matter.
Never talk trash about other people in front of your kids. It will skew them.
If you think you want to do something stupid, do it together.
Make sure your spouse is your best friend.
Coming through hard things can make you stronger or wretched. Choose stronger.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move, whether it is “I’m sorry” or “I want a piece of that”.
Always have their back.
Praise the good.
Don’t talk bad about your person behind their back.
Talk about things other than family or friends. Read books together and converse.
Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. This is a highly undervalued trait.
If you don’t have something nice to say, shut up.
These are just a few of many…if I sit here long enough the list would be giant. I appreciate my husband and my marriage. Growing together and growing older together is a blessing. Some days more than others. But, I know we are on the same page of life and that is priceless.
So, here is to the best man I know. You are truly one of a kind and I am a blessed woman. Here is to us!
Happy Anniversary and thank you for sharing those tips. Congratulations.
Just, lovely.
Happy Anniversary!
Love you both.